Groom toasts his new wife in Louth, Lincolnshire

Writing the Perfect Groom’s Speech: A Guide

If you’re the groom and reading this, chances are you’ve been tasked with giving a speech at the reception and don’t know where to start. Don’t panic – I’ve got you covered. Here’s my ultimate guide to writing the perfect groom’s speech.

What is the traditional structure of a groom’s speech?

The traditional structure of a groom’s speech includes thanking the wedding party, thanking the parents and expressing love for your wife. You can follow this structure as a guide, but feel free to add your own twist. Many grooms like to add personal stories or add a touch of humor to their speeches.

To start off, you’ll want to thank the wedding party – this includes the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and anyone else who played a significant role in planning the wedding. Thank them for their support, their help with the wedding, and for being such great friends. You should also thank the parents of both the bride and groom. This is a good opportunity to show your appreciation for their love and support and to thank them for everything they’ve done for you and your partner.

The main focus of the groom’s speech is usually expressing love for the bride. This is your chance to tell your partner how much they mean to you, and to share your feelings with all of your loved ones. You can talk about how you fell in love, what you admire about your partner and your plans for the future. You might also want to include a heartfelt quote or poem that reflects your feelings. This doesn’t have to be traditional. Think about something that means most to you as a couple. If that’s a quote from The Simpsons rather than Pride & Prejudice, then that Simpsons quote is perfect.

How can I add a personal touch to my speech?

To make your speech more unique and memorable, you can include personal stories or inside jokes. This can be a great way to show your personality and bring your speech to life. Just be sure to keep it appropriate – you don’t want to embarrass your partner or make anyone uncomfortable.

When writing a groom’s speech, a little bit of humor can go a long way in making your speech more engaging and entertaining. Just make sure to keep it in good taste – you don’t want your speech to be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

I’m not a great public speaker. Help!

If you’re not a confident public speaker, it’s okay to keep your speech short and sweet. Focus on expressing your love and appreciation for your partner, and don’t worry about impressing anyone. It’s more important to speak from the heart than to try to be too fancy. Consider writing down your speech and reading it word for word – this can help you feel more comfortable and confident. Also remember, everyone there is rooting for you. They are your family & friends, so don’t worry if you screw up at some point in your speech. Most people do and no one will make fun of you for it. They save that for the best man’s speech.

How can I include my partner’s family and friends in my speech?

Your partner’s family and friends are an important part of your relationship, and it’s a nice gesture to include them in your speech. You can thank them for their support and for helping to make the day special. Why not share a story about your partner’s relationship with them? This can be a great way to show your appreciation and honour the special bond they share. You might also want to include a special message or thank you to any family members who have played a significant role in your life or your relationship.

What if I’m struggling to find the right words?

If you’re having trouble finding the right words, it’s okay to seek help. You can ask a friend or family member to read your speech and give feedback. You could hire a writer to help you craft the perfect words, but this is expensive and it may lose the personal touch. Just remember, it doesn’t need to be fancy, it just needs to be real! One thing though. Pretty please, make sure to give yourself enough time to work on your speech – you don’t want to be scribbling it down on the back of a napkin the night before the wedding.

How Do I Memorize My Wedding Speech?

The old adage comes into play here. Practice makes perfect. The best way to memorize your speech is to practice it frequently. Personally, I would never suggest not having a backup on the day, (whether it’s having it on your phone or a printed copy) but by practising your speech, it will sound like it is coming from your heart rather than simply being read from a page. Start by printing it out. Then, simply read it out loud a few times. This will not only get you used to saying the words but, speaking out loud will help you identify any parts that don’t sound right and need to change. Next, I would suggest memorising the order of the speech with the main people to thank. If you follow the traditional groom’s speech pattern, then this will be:

  • Bridal Party
  • Parents
  • My Partner

From here, slowly add a little at a time. Work on the bridal party section first, then parents and so on. It is amazing how quickly it will come together and, like all great speakers, don’t worry if you go off script a little. Nobody will notice!

Practice on the drive to work, in the shower, walking the dog. It doesn’t matter where you practice, as long as you do. A good tip is to have it on your phone. Then use the phone’s text-to-voice function to read it to you. Read along with your phone (but please, avoid the phone’s delivery style).

Do I Print My Groom’s Speech? Use My Phone? Use Cards?

On the day you will want a copy of the speech to help with your nerves at best, or at worst, to refer to if your mind goes blank 2 minutes before you have to speak. First things first, avoid using your phone! Staring into a phone never looks good in my opinion. I know it’s super convenient, but we tend to associate staring at phones with boredom. Maybe have it as a backup of a backup, but that’s all.

A4 paper is easy to get hold of, easy to print on, and practical. The seemingly obvious thing to do is print the speech in full at size 12. But, if you get nervous shakes as you begin, 12pt text suddenly becomes hard to read. It is also easy to cram too much information onto an A4 sheet and overfill it. If you really struggle to remember your speech it can be a good option, but in my opinion, it is best to use cue cards.

Cue cards (or note cards) are perfect for helping you with your wedding speech. They are small, ridgid and perfect for not putting too much information on. The best way to use them is to use one card per section of the speech. Write (or print) larger than normal and have only notes, not the full speech. As an example, you may want a card titled “Bridal Party”. On this card, have all the names and any special tasks they helped with. By doing this, you have all the key information should you need it, but you will still be able to resist the temptation to simply read the speech word for word (and lose being present and in the moment). Cue cards are cheap, look much better than a sheet of printer paper and are used by public speaking pros. That last point alone should be enough to convince you to at least try this method.

What other tips do you have for writing a successful groom’s speech?

Here are a few other top tips for writing a successful groom’s speech:

  • Keep it simple and heartfelt: Your speech doesn’t have to be long or complicated – just speak from the heart and let your love shine through.
  • Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand: You want your speech to be meaningful and engaging for everyone, not just a select few.
  • Make eye contact with your audience: This can help you feel more confident and connected with your listeners.
  • Consider ending your speech with a quote: This can be a nice way to wrap up your speech and add a touch of romance.
  • Practice, practice, practice: The more you practice your speech, the more comfortable and confident you’ll feel on the big day. You can practice in front of a mirror, with your partner, or with a trusted friend. This will also help you get a sense of the pacing and delivery of your speech. Just don’t forget to bring a copy with you to the ceremony – even if you think you’ve got it down perfectly, you need a backup in case your mind goes blank in front of all your friends and family.

Writing a groom’s speech can be intimidating, but with a little preparation and practice, you can deliver a heartfelt and memorable speech that your partner will never forget. You’ve got this. Now go get your pen.

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