In a previous blog post, I looked at how to write a great wedding speech. But what if you also want to write your own wedding vows? How do you go about beginning this process?
Whether it’s because you feel traditional wedding vows are outdated for you as a couple, or because you want to express your feelings to your partner outside of the traditional vows, writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to personalise your big day and show your love and commitment to your partner. It can also be intimidating and overwhelming. I am sure you have several questions. How long do they need to be? Are there certain things I must say? Should I let my partner hear them or keep them a suprise? Don’t worry – I’ll answer these questions (and a few more) in this post, helping you create vows that are meaningful, heartfelt, and most importantly, that represents you as a couple.
Before you start writing your vows, it’s a good idea to search for examples to help you with some inspiration. You can look at examples of vows, both traditional and modern, that may give you ideas. Think about what you love about your partner and how you want to express it. The main thing to be cautious of here is to not just take parts of other people’s vows and put them together Frankenstein-like, to create something that sounds amazing but lacks any personal meaning.
Understanding the structure of Wedding vows
Traditionally, wedding vows follow a specific structure. They usually include a statement of love and commitment, promises to support and care for your partner, and a declaration of your intentions to marry. You can use this structure as a guide, but feel free to add your own twist.
According to the Church of England. The traditional Christian wedding vows are as follows:
I, [Name] take you, [Name] to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.Church of England Wedding Vows
It used to be that the bride also had to say the word “obey” in her vows, but this is generally not used in modern ceremonies.
Incorporating personal stories
Incorporating personal stories into your vows can make them more meaningful and memorable. Think about moments in your relationship that stand out to you. The first time you met, the moment you knew you were in love, the times you supported each other through challenges. Sharing these stories can help bring your vows to life and show your partner how much they mean to you.
Using meaningful quotes
Including quotes in your vows can be a great way to add depth and emotion. You can choose quotes that reflect your feelings or that have special significance to your relationship. You can consider using something from a classic romance like Pride and Prejudice. But, as I’ve said before, and I’ll say again, if a pop culture quote resonates with you as a couple more than romantic poetry, then use it. Your vows are not a time to show you are educated in the classics, they are a chance to show your partner how much you love them.
I will love you as long as my heart still beats and my brain still brains.Homer Simpson
Add a joke To Your Vows (but avoid a stand-up routine)
If you and your partner have a great sense of humor, you might consider adding a touch of comedy to your vows. Just be careful – you don’t want to make your vows too jokey or lighthearted. A little bit of humor can go a long way, but you still want to convey your love and commitment in a serious way.
If In Doubt K.I.S.S (Keep it Simple Stupid)
It’s important to remember that your vows are for your partner, not for an audience. Don’t worry about impressing anyone or trying to be too fancy. The most important thing is that your vows come from the heart and are meaningful to you. So keep it simple, be yourself, and let your love shine through. You don’t need to use complicated language or flowery phrases, just speak from the heart.
If you’re struggling to find the right words, it’s okay to seek help. You can ask friends or family for feedback, or even hire a writer to help you craft the perfect words. Whatever way you choose, make sure to give yourself enough time to work on your vows – you don’t want to find yourself scribbling them down on the back of a napkin the night before the wedding.
Practice Makes Perfect
Practising your vows can help you feel more confident and comfortable on the big day. You can practice in front of a mirror, in the bath, or when walking the dog. Practising does more than help you remember the words, it will also help you get a sense of the pacing and delivery of your vows. Just don’t forget to bring a copy with you to the ceremony. You don’t want to have to recite them from memory in front of all your friends and family without a safety net.
When it comes to how to keep your copy, I would personally suggest using cue cards. They are small, classic and perfect for wedding vows.
Making Your Wedding Vows heartfelt
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that your vows are heartfelt and sincere. Don’t worry about being too sappy or romantic – just let your love and affection for your partner shine through. Your vows are a chance to express your deepest feelings and to share them with your partner and all your loved ones.
How To Create Meaningful Vows. The PLan
TLDR; here is your simple bullet point plan for being able to create meaningful vows for your wedding day:
- Gather inspiration
- Understand the structure
- Incorporate personal stories
- Use meaningful quotes
- Keep it simple
- Practice, practice, practice
- Make it heartfelt.
- Be yourself
Writing your own vows can be a challenging but rewarding process. It can be daunting to allow yourself to be vulnerable, especially in front of your family & friends. However, writing your own wedding vows can be the perfect way for you to show your love for your partner on your wedding day. Good luck!
Finally, to take my own advice, I’ll end with a favourite quote from Dr. Seuss that might be useful if you’re wondering if you are able to write your own wedding vows.
Life’s too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.Dr. Seuss